even my farts smell like vagina
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
