You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
