From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize