Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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