your room smells of hookers.
And success
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
