her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
