I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
