I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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