i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He kissed a someone with a penis
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
