oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
