I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize