remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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