Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
