woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
