pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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