where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
