i would punch a child for taco bell
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
sex in a hospital.. check
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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