Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize