Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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