hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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