Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
