I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
