If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is the high leading the old right now
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
