I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Mom said you looked used
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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