When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize