I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
