I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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