omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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