I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
