Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
