The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
