Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
