Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
