Ambien. No doubt about it.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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