They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
