I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
