why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
