I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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