How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wish you could order shots online.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
