it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
