Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
