i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
