Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize