we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
