I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
