I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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