I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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