According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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