We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
