You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
