Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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