I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
