i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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