the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
