then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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