Already got asked if we're dating
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
