is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They took my balls.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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