I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
