she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
