we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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