Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize