Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
