I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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