love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
