He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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